How to Gauge Unity in Your Marriage

"Marriage Unity Gauge"

By Remi and Helen Alaka.

The Marriage Unity Gauge (MUG) is designed as a tool to help couples assess the level of unity in their marriage. The concept involves using a checklist of ten specific indicators that reflect core aspects of a healthy and united relationship. By evaluating their relationship against these indicators, couples can identify areas that may need improvement and foster open communication about any concerns.

Purpose

The primary purpose of the Marriage Unity Gauge is to provide a structured and impartial method for couples to gauge the strength of their unity. This tool serves several key purposes: • Facilitating Communication, • Identifying Issues, • Promoting Mutual Understanding, • Strengthening Relationships.

The Ten Indicators

The MUG checklist includes the following ten indicators:

Trust

Trust enables partners to encourage and support each other’s goals and aspirations. When you trust your partner, you believe in their capabilities and provide the necessary encouragement.

Equality

Encourages both partners to equally share responsibilities, whether they are related to household chores, financial management, or parenting duties.

Encouragement

Acts of encouragement demonstrate love, care, and support. This strengthens the emotional connection between partners, reinforcing the bond that holds the marriage together.

Time Together

Shared activities and experiences create lasting memories. These positive memories contribute to a sense of shared history and solidarity, reinforcing the couple’s commitment to each other.

Communication about Upsets

Open discussions about what upsets each partner can reduce stress, anxiety, and other negative emotions, contributing to overall relationship health.

Respect

Respect involves acknowledging and valuing each other's opinions, beliefs, and feelings. This means listening actively, even when you disagree, and appreciating your partner's perspective.

Honour

Honour underpins the mutual respect that is essential for any healthy relationship. Without honour, respect can wane, leading to discord and misunderstandings.

Anticipation of Needs

Knowing that your partner is attentive to your needs creates a sense of security and trust. It reassures both partners that they are valued and prioritised in the relationship.

Benefit of the Doubt

Assuming positive intent helps to prevent unnecessary arguments and conflicts. It allows both partners to approach misunderstandings calmly and with a problem-solving mindset rather than jumping to accusatory conclusions.

Planning for Togetherness and Individual Time

Respecting each other’s need for personal time fosters trust and respect within the relationship. It shows that each partner values the other’s individuality and autonomy.